Musicians and Depression: Going Deep

Depression is not something that can be easily summed up and cured. Oh that it could. This short three part series can only stir the conversation, and I'm glad it has. Deep, chronic depression is debilitating life threatening and hope must be found. In this post I'll share some sources that may be of help.

First of all, there are all kinds of different personalities. We don't have to be laughing all the time to be deeply joyful. We can bravely chart our own course with which we are satisfied, and for musicians and other highly creative people, a satisfied life is often one that is lived on the edge, in full color.

My highly creative musician/writer/gardener, etc. sister Pam Hubbard, who has now found her own way to successfully deal with panic attacks and depression, says this about a "creative mind unleashed":

We shouldn't and cannot estimate the depth of creativity by labeling it as such-and-such mental "disorder". The uncreatively focused mind (a very controlled mind having been successfully tamed by society) fears the mind of the untamed. I believe the element of the wild (essence of God) is most evident in a creative mind unleashed. Treatment, yes, for some who would self-destruct...but not capture and taming. I don't understand the self-destruct mechanism other than that it is estimated from time to time in the lives of some of us that it is best to leave here now and go on to what we know is much better out there. Maybe that is more rational than the tame would ever allow themselves to be.

I'm grateful to Pam for pointing me to several of the following websites:

Wings Of Support's website asks...

Is there actually a link between artistic creativity and mental illness? Most artists are not mentally ill, and most mentally ill people are not artists. However, several studies have suggested that artists are more likely than others to suffer from a class of mental illnesses called mood disorders... Some researchers, including Jamison, speculate that mood disorders allow people to think more creatively. In fact, one of the criteria for diagnosing mania reads "sharpened and unusually creative thinking." People with mood disorders also experience a broad range of deep emotions. This combination of symptoms might lend itself to prolific artistic creativity.

I would add that any musician I know would be bored stiff with a leveled out psyche. It's just that we need to figure out how to take the good with the bad.

Stephen L. Bernhardt, at Have A Heart's Depression Resource website suggests a process he calls "emotional thought stopping"... say "STOP IT" whenever the negative thought come.. and do so repeatedly for a concentrated period of time. (Read about the process on his site.) He says further that positive thinking is not the answer to severe depression if it comes from the outside... only if it wells up from the inside after the negative thought is consciously stopped. Stephen says;

It is this internally generated positive thought from the subconscious that you want to seize and to reinforce. Go with it! In other words, do not try to shove positive thought into the subconscious, let them come in response to the renewed hope you gain from emotional thought stopping.

I know one sure-fire way to get a musician depressed... take away his/her music making. That's why I tell people who come to me and wonder if their music is commercially viable that they are asking the wrong question. How badly do they need to make music?

Here's a quote from the webpage "Musicians And The Link To Mental Illness"

We know that there are some for whom music is so compelling and innately powerful, they are unable to contain it within themselves. They can no more seperate themselves form music as they could their own limb.

Indeed, take away the creative effort and you have a sad human being. This webpage also calls into question why we tend to attach the mental illness label to a creative soul. However, there is a certain vulnerability in sensitive creatives... from the same website I quote-

Anyone who knows something of the psychology of creativity, also knows that creative people suffer more severely from social pressures than 'adapted people' because they are more sensitive to them, because their creative drive is emotional in nature, not rational, and they have to rely upon them without the security of rational argument which makes them extra vulnerable to hostility from the environment.

But finally, they quote Sting about the healing powers of the very music we create;

If you play music with passion and love and honesty, then it will nourish your soul, heal your wounds and make your life worth living. Music is it's own reward. ~Sting

To that I would add that music is not enough... we must find a spiritual connection to the master creator who gives us music and "in whom we live and move and have our being". In my life, God has turned my lows turn into depth of understanding... and to trusting that the lows are temporary.

"Weeping may endure through the night, but joy comes in the morning" Ps 30:5.

When the emptiness get particularly deep, do as my wise, creative friend Terry Smith says ... "let God fill the hole". He writes on his poetry blog;

I do know real joy
Along the way I have found it
My greatest treasure
Drink deeply from this great joy
Practice its presence daily

Two other good websites for further reading:

A Book Review of Touched With Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament
Kay Redfield Jamison, Ph.D

and
Gifted People And Their Problems

Your comments? Please go to the web and post by clicking the comment link. Thanks!

Musicians and Depression: Triggers That Start The Downward Spiral

Depression, as I said in my first post, can be caused by multiple causes. In this post I'm going to talk about three types of triggers that can begin a downward spiral in the brain.

A high in your musical career.

Strange but true, just on the other side of a significant accomplishment in our musical career (our "baby" is metaphorically finally born) , we can experience a plunge in state of mind. I refer to it as artistic "post partum depression".

Typical scenarios:

• A cd project you've been working very hard on is finally finished, to your great satisfaction. The following day you feel strangely let down, tired and even sad.
• You win a talent award you've been deeply hoping for that will launch your career to another plateau. Soon after you wonder why you are feeling so down and scared.
• You get a deal... on a label, with a publishing company, with a booking agency. You celebrate, then feel empty.
  
• You conquer a difficult vocal issue such as chronic tension in your voice. You are elated at your voice lesson, but soon after become afraid that you can't really do that consistently. It becomes a self-fullfilled prophecy when your voice assumes the old nasty habits next time you sing. You feel like giving up.

How can you deal with a high-low cycle?

Know what it is. Just recognizing a post-high low can keep you from being afraid of it, and can take it's power away to hurt you. It's like a coat hanging on a coathook that looks like a monster in the dark... if you know it's a coat, even though the lights are out you stop being afraid of it. You can even use the lows to rest, reflect, pray and get back to the source of your strength and get ready for what you'll do next. Choose to see low is just a temporary balancing so the highs don't burn you out!

Too Much Sensory Input

• Too much to do, too many people to be around, too many promotional events and phone calls, too many things happening at once, too many people talking, too tooo toooooo much! You find yourself on edge, unsatisfied, unhappy no matter what is "going right" and you don't understand it.
  

This happens a lot to highly creative people. Many times artists fall into the trap of substance abuse just to find some peace. Here's a better way... find some S P A C E! Silence and space can be restoring and healing. You don't have to have money for a big sabbatical, just tell everyone you're taking a break for an evening, day or week and then DO IT. Turn off phone, tv, limit talking, just chill. Ways I do this include my morning meditations and prayer, walks in the woods, time sitting on my deck outside, walks on any ocean shore.

Bitterness and Resentment

OK, if you say you have not fallen victim to these twin mindsets, you are lying, friend... or you are not from this planet! (I, by the way, am also from Earth) And those who don't admit their imperfect attitudes are in the most peril of all... because a stuffed resentment can fester and even create more internal havoc than a confessed one. For instance:

• You notice someone's career moving faster than yours. (And there's always someone...)
  
• Someone else wins an award you were competing for. (Competition monster strikes again.)
  
• You think someone has stolen your gig. (A big nasty trigger... especially if it's true.)
• Someone diss'ed you (critiqued or assessed your performance negatively).
• You got hurt by an unfair music business reality or decision. (Radio won't play you anymore, the label folds, your point man left the organization, the venue gypped you, your songs/music/production are not chosen for ___ project).
• You hate yourself for your mistakes, failures and inabilities. This is a big contributor to depression, which is also defined as anger turned inwards.
  

There are so many reasons a musician lets bitterness and resentment take hold because we as artists are often fragile. This can turn into the end game... unforgiveness, which is truly a happiness, joy and peace killer.

We MUST turn these thoughts around, and the sooner the better. It helps to have a sane circle of friends to whom we can be accountable, so we can say "I am having trouble letting this go. I admit it and I want to stop it." If this friend will help you NOT DIG THE HOLE of resentment deeper, but will instead agree with you that you need to forgive, forget, let go, wish the person well, that's the talk you need to have. Oh yes, and prayer works to. Someone told me one time when I was crying about some unfair insult I'd received that Jesus didn't have a party here, either. That did it for me, I couldn't top that so I was quickly able to let go. I was able to see this person as fearful and sick, and actually began to care about her. I also was able to admit and forgive myself for being foolish and manipulative. Then my own clouds lifted.

Now... here's where I need your help. What other triggers of depression have you experienced, and what did you find useful that you could share?

We'll talk about more severe forms of depression next post.

The Blues: Musicians and Depression

Being highly creative is a double edged sword. Gifted musicians are prone to periods of depression and "the real blues". In fact, from my experience and observations, I would suggest that many if not most musicians go through a low period of life that they barely survive. We have to take the good with the bad and learn to turn the bad into good.

Good news: with insight comes power. What I mean is that when you become aware of something you can change it. With that in mind, I'm going to write a series of blogposts on the subject of musicians and depression. This first post will shed some light on defining the problem.

When we are depressed, it is most important to get to the source of the problem.
There are many reasons for it, from physical issues like

• brain chemistry imbalances
  
• other underlying health disorders and diseases
• nutritional deficiencies

to mental and emotional issues like

• stinking thinking
  
• dysfunctional coping behavior habits
  
• and real or perceived traumatic life events.

There are many levels of depression. The low feelings can be "acute"- a temporary condition tied to some life event- or "chronic", which is a pernicious, lasting condition that is sometimes triggered by a life event or an underlying physiological problem such as a simple thyroid imbalance. The condition can run from a little moping to clinical depression- a life threatening mental and emotional state. DO NOT IGNORE CLINICAL DEPRESSION. It can become a soul abscess, robbing you of the joy of your music... and of your life. If you think you could have it, get professional help, and don't wait one more day to do it.

On the other hand, learning how to deal with-- and not be afraid of-- temporary, natural mood swings can take their negative power over you away. Much like compost, crappy thoughts can be turned into fertilizer. It is my hope that this series will help people do just that. I look forward to your comments and suggestions along the way.